To find someone who accepts you completely and loves you unconditionally is like to find yourself, finally! To loose this person to death, time or space is tragic, but to have to let go of this person is like having to live in a brightly lit room full of things you love the most but without that one person you wanna share them with. It's easier to renounce life than to let go of him.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Friday, May 21, 2010
The Weight Fixation
Waking up with the milkman ringing the doorbell, I manage to move my sleepy ass and start a bright new day. My first thought when I see a chubby face staring back at me from the bathroom mirror is.....have I put on more weight? After a bath I rush to get going else I'd miss the office bus again. I pack the leftover sabzi from last nite for lunch, and make my self some cold milk.....nother weighty thought...two spoons sugar is too much calories....I'm already not loosing any weight....don't want to put on atleast. With that I rush to the bus stop. If I'm lucky then the bus hasn't come. I chit chat with the slim women thinking what is it that they do to keep so fit. Fit? I don't think they gym the way I do...infact they might be endowed with a great metabolism which saves them from daily compulsory gym routine. I can't deny that I feel jeolous of all the good looking women who could wear whatever they like without looking down at their bulging tummy. In the one hour travel to office, my mind is blank, I just listen to some good music and take a break from the rather HEAVY thoughts.
The morning breakfast in the office cafeteria is usually a disappoiting . Being a Punjabi, I love my food. I expect my breakfast to be the most exciting meal of the day. Back home my Mom makes some really delicious parathas or great masala sandwitches. Here sadly,I need to keep my diet in order, hence my breakfast comprises of either boiled egg whites or something light like upma. I love idli, dosa and uttapa for breakfast. So when there's idli in the menu, I let myself loose and gorge on it. That's when my breakfast feels satisfying.
The day is spent working and having light lunch and snack wit tea in the evening. But there's something always at the back of my head...and that is my weight. The fact that I'm 16 kgs overweight makes me restless at all times. Unconciously, I compare myself with the slimmer lot...all in vain. I devise strategies to eat right. I try to avoid the high calorie food, I try to drink as much water as possible....I try to do everything right to help myself loose weigth.
I try to gym atleast 4 days a week. With 30 minutes of running, 10 mins of cycling, 10 mins on the eliptical and about 30 minutes of floor excersises and crunches on the cardio days and weight training for upper body with 15-20 minutes of cardio and strength training for lower body with 15-20mins of cardio, I remain my same cubby self. When my body fails to respond to all the workout and the diet control, there is a sense of disappointment and demotivation that seeps in.
What is it that I'm not doing rigth? What's the use of all the streneous excercises that I'm doing? Why can't I loose weight and look pretty? These thought often occupy my head. Infact, come to think of it, I'm so bloody fixated on my weigth that I sometimes overlook the fact that I'm blessed with good health. Apart from PCOD, which is primarily the cause of my obesity, and which can be treated, I do not suffer from any major ailements...touch wood!!!
I have great stamina and although I've put on weight, I'm the cute looker :) in words of my close pals. So I have few reasons to worry. I now realize the weight fixation of most women, which earlier used to look illogical to me in my ligther(weight) days. Gosh...looks like "weight" is a word that I think of and use most often.
Ladies.......I understand and relate with the obescity issues that most of you are facing and realize that we women need to relax a bit. We need to follow right diet and workout to stay healthy and fit rather than worry bout getting slim. I'm sure that if I stay motivated and stop worrying, and stick to my diet and good workout regime..then I'll get results. It'll take time......a lot of time,but it will happen....it has to happen....I'll make it happen!!!
So I'll try to shun the heavy thoughts...and enjoy my chub..errr...loose it!!!!
The morning breakfast in the office cafeteria is usually a disappoiting . Being a Punjabi, I love my food. I expect my breakfast to be the most exciting meal of the day. Back home my Mom makes some really delicious parathas or great masala sandwitches. Here sadly,I need to keep my diet in order, hence my breakfast comprises of either boiled egg whites or something light like upma. I love idli, dosa and uttapa for breakfast. So when there's idli in the menu, I let myself loose and gorge on it. That's when my breakfast feels satisfying.
The day is spent working and having light lunch and snack wit tea in the evening. But there's something always at the back of my head...and that is my weight. The fact that I'm 16 kgs overweight makes me restless at all times. Unconciously, I compare myself with the slimmer lot...all in vain. I devise strategies to eat right. I try to avoid the high calorie food, I try to drink as much water as possible....I try to do everything right to help myself loose weigth.
I try to gym atleast 4 days a week. With 30 minutes of running, 10 mins of cycling, 10 mins on the eliptical and about 30 minutes of floor excersises and crunches on the cardio days and weight training for upper body with 15-20 minutes of cardio and strength training for lower body with 15-20mins of cardio, I remain my same cubby self. When my body fails to respond to all the workout and the diet control, there is a sense of disappointment and demotivation that seeps in.
What is it that I'm not doing rigth? What's the use of all the streneous excercises that I'm doing? Why can't I loose weight and look pretty? These thought often occupy my head. Infact, come to think of it, I'm so bloody fixated on my weigth that I sometimes overlook the fact that I'm blessed with good health. Apart from PCOD, which is primarily the cause of my obesity, and which can be treated, I do not suffer from any major ailements...touch wood!!!
I have great stamina and although I've put on weight, I'm the cute looker :) in words of my close pals. So I have few reasons to worry. I now realize the weight fixation of most women, which earlier used to look illogical to me in my ligther(weight) days. Gosh...looks like "weight" is a word that I think of and use most often.
Ladies.......I understand and relate with the obescity issues that most of you are facing and realize that we women need to relax a bit. We need to follow right diet and workout to stay healthy and fit rather than worry bout getting slim. I'm sure that if I stay motivated and stop worrying, and stick to my diet and good workout regime..then I'll get results. It'll take time......a lot of time,but it will happen....it has to happen....I'll make it happen!!!
So I'll try to shun the heavy thoughts...and enjoy my chub..errr...loose it!!!!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Dreams of Taleem - A Taleem that's one of its kind
To be born into the world of intellectuals who profess their principles and expects the world to follow them, is being born chained where one has no freedom of movement of thoughts in the direction lead by one's heart, guided by one's soul and powered by one's desire. I refuse to be chained though I refuse not, to be born. There's something that Khalil Gibran said in his famous work The Prophet, that is true in the very sense of it, especially in the control freak world of today, where one's sole purpose seems to bind people, chain them, strangle them and refrain them to explore the world the way its never been explored before. He said :
" Your children are not your children,
They are the sons and daughters of life's bringing for itself.
They come through you, but not from you
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow
Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.........."
Last Saturday I witnessed the free spirited man, dauntless and inculpable. Dreams of Taleem is a play that is in spirit, everything that this man stands for and everything that we can only hope to be in the world today. It was the first play that I saw, oh no, experienced is the right word, cause it was so much more that seeing. The play celebrates the unyielding drive of the people associated with theatre and homophobia faced by the parents who would rather abandon their child than accept him with his reality. Its a sensitive portray of the struggle that a mother undergoes when she finds the truth about the homosexuality of her youngest and most beloved son. The story is in fact, more complex than the issue itself. Before the start of the play, the director Sunil Sanbhag introduced us to the background of the play. This play is essentially a tribute to a supremely talented theatre personality Chetan Datar who died young in 2008. This play was originally written by Chetan but much before it could be produced, his news of sudden demise sent waves of sadness, anger and futility down the spines of many a theatre personalities. The play, a masterpiece, was left lifeless with its playwright gone. That's when Sunil Sanbhag got in touch with a young playwright from Pune, Sachin Kundalkar who breathed a new life into this play, interweaving Chetan's story with the struggles of a theatre personality who relinquishes the cliche and strives for the acceptance of originality and crude reality. It is a tribute to all those people who have refused to compromise on the scripts they believe in and turned down lucrative offers to be a part of senseless cinema.
The play stars Anand Tiwari, who plays Yash, an actor by choice, an engineer by force, and the love interest of Anay, played by Suvrat Joshi who is a director working on Chetan's script and hasn't produced a play for the past 6 months. The moments of intimacy of the two has been handled very sensitively and asthetically. Anay struggles to find an actor for the role of the mother who deals with the homosexuality of her son in Chetan's script. That's when a convincing actor Divya Jaglade who plays a forgotten actress Sita, enters and saves the day for Anay and Suvrat. But the best is still to come, as they say, the strongest performer of the play is Geetanjali Kulkarni, who plays a handicap, mother of Sita. Geetanjali keeps blabbering throughout the play in Marathi, gives the audience moments of chill and leaves them in splits at other times. She emerges as an actor whose presence hides the weak links in performances and the jinxed scenes. Between the rehearsals of the play, where Divya falls into many a monologues, Anay is striving to save his relationship with Yash who is scared to break the news of his sexuality to his parents and is slowly falling under their pressure to get married. Anand, who plays Yash is not convincing enough as his performance lack the efforlessness that Suvrat brings in his performance. In a conversation that Anay has over the phone with his "Aai", he is so convincing and believable that it almost moves you to tears and leaves you feeling as helpless as Anay is at that moment. There are many such moments in the play which lead you to reason the principles you live by and the adamant nature of human beings who resist anything that's unconventional and brand it as evil.
Dreams of Taleem does full justice to the extraordinary script of the two playwrights. With good actors, average background score and intelligent direction, the play turns out to be a Taleem that's one of its kind. I would endorse it to everyone who enjoys live performances and wants to go on a roller coster ride of emotions, cause that's what the play offers you together with a deep sense of reality.
" Your children are not your children,
They are the sons and daughters of life's bringing for itself.
They come through you, but not from you
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow
Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.........."
Last Saturday I witnessed the free spirited man, dauntless and inculpable. Dreams of Taleem is a play that is in spirit, everything that this man stands for and everything that we can only hope to be in the world today. It was the first play that I saw, oh no, experienced is the right word, cause it was so much more that seeing. The play celebrates the unyielding drive of the people associated with theatre and homophobia faced by the parents who would rather abandon their child than accept him with his reality. Its a sensitive portray of the struggle that a mother undergoes when she finds the truth about the homosexuality of her youngest and most beloved son. The story is in fact, more complex than the issue itself. Before the start of the play, the director Sunil Sanbhag introduced us to the background of the play. This play is essentially a tribute to a supremely talented theatre personality Chetan Datar who died young in 2008. This play was originally written by Chetan but much before it could be produced, his news of sudden demise sent waves of sadness, anger and futility down the spines of many a theatre personalities. The play, a masterpiece, was left lifeless with its playwright gone. That's when Sunil Sanbhag got in touch with a young playwright from Pune, Sachin Kundalkar who breathed a new life into this play, interweaving Chetan's story with the struggles of a theatre personality who relinquishes the cliche and strives for the acceptance of originality and crude reality. It is a tribute to all those people who have refused to compromise on the scripts they believe in and turned down lucrative offers to be a part of senseless cinema.
The play stars Anand Tiwari, who plays Yash, an actor by choice, an engineer by force, and the love interest of Anay, played by Suvrat Joshi who is a director working on Chetan's script and hasn't produced a play for the past 6 months. The moments of intimacy of the two has been handled very sensitively and asthetically. Anay struggles to find an actor for the role of the mother who deals with the homosexuality of her son in Chetan's script. That's when a convincing actor Divya Jaglade who plays a forgotten actress Sita, enters and saves the day for Anay and Suvrat. But the best is still to come, as they say, the strongest performer of the play is Geetanjali Kulkarni, who plays a handicap, mother of Sita. Geetanjali keeps blabbering throughout the play in Marathi, gives the audience moments of chill and leaves them in splits at other times. She emerges as an actor whose presence hides the weak links in performances and the jinxed scenes. Between the rehearsals of the play, where Divya falls into many a monologues, Anay is striving to save his relationship with Yash who is scared to break the news of his sexuality to his parents and is slowly falling under their pressure to get married. Anand, who plays Yash is not convincing enough as his performance lack the efforlessness that Suvrat brings in his performance. In a conversation that Anay has over the phone with his "Aai", he is so convincing and believable that it almost moves you to tears and leaves you feeling as helpless as Anay is at that moment. There are many such moments in the play which lead you to reason the principles you live by and the adamant nature of human beings who resist anything that's unconventional and brand it as evil.
Dreams of Taleem does full justice to the extraordinary script of the two playwrights. With good actors, average background score and intelligent direction, the play turns out to be a Taleem that's one of its kind. I would endorse it to everyone who enjoys live performances and wants to go on a roller coster ride of emotions, cause that's what the play offers you together with a deep sense of reality.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Im going home
Finally after a lot of struggle to avail leaves Im leaving for Indore today in the evening. I've been looking forward to this trip from the starting of the year. Sadly, i won't be able to attend my friend's wedding but will still be able to make it to her Mehendi. I have a few people to meet, Sonia di for one. She's been a very close friend since six years. Im real happy to be seeing her in full bloom, she's 6 months pregnant, can't wait to meet her. Abhishek, my adorable friend is leaving for France next month, I haven't met him for the past one and a half years, it alwaz a joy to meet him. And most importantly my darling Mom. I miss everything about her, I miss her smiles, I miss her pampering me, I miss her food, I miss our endless conversations. Im so very happy to be going home!!!!See you once Im back.Cheers!!!
Monday, January 25, 2010
An Ode to Lucy
Lucy you'r my darling love
Like a faithful friend
You never left my side
With you I've shared my grief
And celebrated my zest for life.
Lucy, like an old companion
You know me well
You've cheered me up in my lows
And taken me places
That I never knew existed.
Lucy, we've seen some great days
And pretty awesome places togther
There are memories so many
That sometimes it hurts
Coz a lot has changed since our happy days
Lucy, without you a lot of images
Seem incomplete...
Those long drives
Those night outs in the rain
Those cold cozy nights
Lucy, I remember I was so mad
When I gave you to my brother
And he treated you real bad
The scratch and a dent on you
Left on me deep scars
Lucy, Im so sorry
But its time that I give you up
I know I promised to take care of you
Get you cleaned and serviced time to time
And treat you like my wife, not like a mistress
But I want to rid myself of all the memories
Good and bad
I want to start afresh and remain unaffected
By the cruel realities of life
I don't want to loose my guard
Not even before you.
Lucy, your new companion
Has sworn to treat you well
I hope you forgive me some day
And move on with your new friend
I hope you treat him just as well.
Lucy, worry not for me
For I've bought myself a new car
Only this time I haven't named her
You must remember no one can take your place
You were my Lucy
This new machine would just be a car.
In the end
I'd just like to say
Although You aren't with me Lucy
I think of you everyday
Coz Lucy, you were my darling love.
Like a faithful friend
You never left my side
With you I've shared my grief
And celebrated my zest for life.
Lucy, like an old companion
You know me well
You've cheered me up in my lows
And taken me places
That I never knew existed.
Lucy, we've seen some great days
And pretty awesome places togther
There are memories so many
That sometimes it hurts
Coz a lot has changed since our happy days
Lucy, without you a lot of images
Seem incomplete...
Those long drives
Those night outs in the rain
Those cold cozy nights
Lucy, I remember I was so mad
When I gave you to my brother
And he treated you real bad
The scratch and a dent on you
Left on me deep scars
Lucy, Im so sorry
But its time that I give you up
I know I promised to take care of you
Get you cleaned and serviced time to time
And treat you like my wife, not like a mistress
But I want to rid myself of all the memories
Good and bad
I want to start afresh and remain unaffected
By the cruel realities of life
I don't want to loose my guard
Not even before you.
Lucy, your new companion
Has sworn to treat you well
I hope you forgive me some day
And move on with your new friend
I hope you treat him just as well.
Lucy, worry not for me
For I've bought myself a new car
Only this time I haven't named her
You must remember no one can take your place
You were my Lucy
This new machine would just be a car.
In the end
I'd just like to say
Although You aren't with me Lucy
I think of you everyday
Coz Lucy, you were my darling love.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Sweet Memories of Cold
I'm having a bad cold
A blocked nose and terrible headache
It's funny but it reminds me
Of sweet memories some time old
U weren't there by my side
But I remember u said
That you really wanted to be
How I wish that could be
It was long time back
I wasn't well at all
Had a bad cold
An infection in my throat
All I could do was make noises
And hope it'd make sense
It did make sense
Only to you...
U weren't there by my side
But I remember u said
That you really wanted to be
How I wish that could be
You ordered me good rest
And lots of fluids to be taken in bed
You said you could look me up
And everything will be alright
How I wish that could be....
Here I am today...
Its just a cold and some pain
More in my heart than in my head
Coz you aren't here to tell me
That you wish to be by my side
Look me up and offer me soup
How I wish that would be.....
A blocked nose and terrible headache
It's funny but it reminds me
Of sweet memories some time old
U weren't there by my side
But I remember u said
That you really wanted to be
How I wish that could be
It was long time back
I wasn't well at all
Had a bad cold
An infection in my throat
All I could do was make noises
And hope it'd make sense
It did make sense
Only to you...
U weren't there by my side
But I remember u said
That you really wanted to be
How I wish that could be
You ordered me good rest
And lots of fluids to be taken in bed
You said you could look me up
And everything will be alright
How I wish that could be....
Here I am today...
Its just a cold and some pain
More in my heart than in my head
Coz you aren't here to tell me
That you wish to be by my side
Look me up and offer me soup
How I wish that would be.....
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Foolish In Love
You give your heart to someone
you make him your special person
you'r reckless with your actions
he is at all times the center of your attraction
he tells you he'll be there
you open your heart and let him in...
you'r tender you'r sweet
you'r evrything he wants u to be...
baby wat u dnt knw
is this love thing is just a fake
oh ur foolish....foolish in love....
u fight wid ur mom u scream at ur dad
without him the world seems sad
he says,"ur mine"
u feel he's urs
Oh ur so foolish....
ur so foolish in love!
He's nice he's sweet
That's all u need
He's makes u smile makes u dance
Oh ur so stuck wid the idea of romance
Ur just foolish babe...
Ur so foolish in love.....
And one day he just takes off
without a word leaves u clueless
ur curse him u cry
u make a silent prayer,hope he comes back.
Ur broken heart bleeds
Its the end of ur world u feel
Honey ur being foolish....
ur hopelessly foolish in love!!!
And then on a sunny day
while ur sitting on a bench all alone
this guy sits next to u
he says u've got a pretty face
Oh but u feel ur being foolish again
u dnt wanna be foolish in love
but honey...dnt be scared....
we all are foolish...its lovely to be foolish in love
U look at him u smile
He tells u ur special
Like an angel from the sky
Dont be scared, the wind wind wispers...
Go ahead...Be foolish....
Its worth being foolish...
Foolish in love!!!
you make him your special person
you'r reckless with your actions
he is at all times the center of your attraction
he tells you he'll be there
you open your heart and let him in...
you'r tender you'r sweet
you'r evrything he wants u to be...
baby wat u dnt knw
is this love thing is just a fake
oh ur foolish....foolish in love....
u fight wid ur mom u scream at ur dad
without him the world seems sad
he says,"ur mine"
u feel he's urs
Oh ur so foolish....
ur so foolish in love!
He's nice he's sweet
That's all u need
He's makes u smile makes u dance
Oh ur so stuck wid the idea of romance
Ur just foolish babe...
Ur so foolish in love.....
And one day he just takes off
without a word leaves u clueless
ur curse him u cry
u make a silent prayer,hope he comes back.
Ur broken heart bleeds
Its the end of ur world u feel
Honey ur being foolish....
ur hopelessly foolish in love!!!
And then on a sunny day
while ur sitting on a bench all alone
this guy sits next to u
he says u've got a pretty face
Oh but u feel ur being foolish again
u dnt wanna be foolish in love
but honey...dnt be scared....
we all are foolish...its lovely to be foolish in love
U look at him u smile
He tells u ur special
Like an angel from the sky
Dont be scared, the wind wind wispers...
Go ahead...Be foolish....
Its worth being foolish...
Foolish in love!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)