Lucy you'r my darling love
Like a faithful friend
You never left my side
With you I've shared my grief
And celebrated my zest for life.
Lucy, like an old companion
You know me well
You've cheered me up in my lows
And taken me places
That I never knew existed.
Lucy, we've seen some great days
And pretty awesome places togther
There are memories so many
That sometimes it hurts
Coz a lot has changed since our happy days
Lucy, without you a lot of images
Seem incomplete...
Those long drives
Those night outs in the rain
Those cold cozy nights
Lucy, I remember I was so mad
When I gave you to my brother
And he treated you real bad
The scratch and a dent on you
Left on me deep scars
Lucy, Im so sorry
But its time that I give you up
I know I promised to take care of you
Get you cleaned and serviced time to time
And treat you like my wife, not like a mistress
But I want to rid myself of all the memories
Good and bad
I want to start afresh and remain unaffected
By the cruel realities of life
I don't want to loose my guard
Not even before you.
Lucy, your new companion
Has sworn to treat you well
I hope you forgive me some day
And move on with your new friend
I hope you treat him just as well.
Lucy, worry not for me
For I've bought myself a new car
Only this time I haven't named her
You must remember no one can take your place
You were my Lucy
This new machine would just be a car.
In the end
I'd just like to say
Although You aren't with me Lucy
I think of you everyday
Coz Lucy, you were my darling love.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Sweet Memories of Cold
I'm having a bad cold
A blocked nose and terrible headache
It's funny but it reminds me
Of sweet memories some time old
U weren't there by my side
But I remember u said
That you really wanted to be
How I wish that could be
It was long time back
I wasn't well at all
Had a bad cold
An infection in my throat
All I could do was make noises
And hope it'd make sense
It did make sense
Only to you...
U weren't there by my side
But I remember u said
That you really wanted to be
How I wish that could be
You ordered me good rest
And lots of fluids to be taken in bed
You said you could look me up
And everything will be alright
How I wish that could be....
Here I am today...
Its just a cold and some pain
More in my heart than in my head
Coz you aren't here to tell me
That you wish to be by my side
Look me up and offer me soup
How I wish that would be.....
A blocked nose and terrible headache
It's funny but it reminds me
Of sweet memories some time old
U weren't there by my side
But I remember u said
That you really wanted to be
How I wish that could be
It was long time back
I wasn't well at all
Had a bad cold
An infection in my throat
All I could do was make noises
And hope it'd make sense
It did make sense
Only to you...
U weren't there by my side
But I remember u said
That you really wanted to be
How I wish that could be
You ordered me good rest
And lots of fluids to be taken in bed
You said you could look me up
And everything will be alright
How I wish that could be....
Here I am today...
Its just a cold and some pain
More in my heart than in my head
Coz you aren't here to tell me
That you wish to be by my side
Look me up and offer me soup
How I wish that would be.....
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Foolish In Love
You give your heart to someone
you make him your special person
you'r reckless with your actions
he is at all times the center of your attraction
he tells you he'll be there
you open your heart and let him in...
you'r tender you'r sweet
you'r evrything he wants u to be...
baby wat u dnt knw
is this love thing is just a fake
oh ur foolish....foolish in love....
u fight wid ur mom u scream at ur dad
without him the world seems sad
he says,"ur mine"
u feel he's urs
Oh ur so foolish....
ur so foolish in love!
He's nice he's sweet
That's all u need
He's makes u smile makes u dance
Oh ur so stuck wid the idea of romance
Ur just foolish babe...
Ur so foolish in love.....
And one day he just takes off
without a word leaves u clueless
ur curse him u cry
u make a silent prayer,hope he comes back.
Ur broken heart bleeds
Its the end of ur world u feel
Honey ur being foolish....
ur hopelessly foolish in love!!!
And then on a sunny day
while ur sitting on a bench all alone
this guy sits next to u
he says u've got a pretty face
Oh but u feel ur being foolish again
u dnt wanna be foolish in love
but honey...dnt be scared....
we all are foolish...its lovely to be foolish in love
U look at him u smile
He tells u ur special
Like an angel from the sky
Dont be scared, the wind wind wispers...
Go ahead...Be foolish....
Its worth being foolish...
Foolish in love!!!
you make him your special person
you'r reckless with your actions
he is at all times the center of your attraction
he tells you he'll be there
you open your heart and let him in...
you'r tender you'r sweet
you'r evrything he wants u to be...
baby wat u dnt knw
is this love thing is just a fake
oh ur foolish....foolish in love....
u fight wid ur mom u scream at ur dad
without him the world seems sad
he says,"ur mine"
u feel he's urs
Oh ur so foolish....
ur so foolish in love!
He's nice he's sweet
That's all u need
He's makes u smile makes u dance
Oh ur so stuck wid the idea of romance
Ur just foolish babe...
Ur so foolish in love.....
And one day he just takes off
without a word leaves u clueless
ur curse him u cry
u make a silent prayer,hope he comes back.
Ur broken heart bleeds
Its the end of ur world u feel
Honey ur being foolish....
ur hopelessly foolish in love!!!
And then on a sunny day
while ur sitting on a bench all alone
this guy sits next to u
he says u've got a pretty face
Oh but u feel ur being foolish again
u dnt wanna be foolish in love
but honey...dnt be scared....
we all are foolish...its lovely to be foolish in love
U look at him u smile
He tells u ur special
Like an angel from the sky
Dont be scared, the wind wind wispers...
Go ahead...Be foolish....
Its worth being foolish...
Foolish in love!!!
My Calling
Today while travelling to the office I was thinking about how my day would be spent. I was late already, reaching at 11 in the morning and leaving early in the evening sure tells something serious about where your career is heading. Despite complete awareness of the fact that I am not completely involved with my job, that Im not good at what I do, infact I suck at it, I carry on, each day, spending it, passionless,aimless, I just do what Im supposed to do and bring no energy and no innovation to my job. I take no initiative to learn, to improve, to bring meaning to my work, despite that I shamelessly dream about landing a lucrative job or getting that ultimate desire of every IT professional, an ONSITE! How could I even dream to be so lucky knowing that Im far from worthy? Who am I fooling? God helps those who help themselve, I know. I also know that I for sure am doing nothing to change my situation. I've been in the mode of denail from the very first day I got this job, Im unsure of my potential but what Im sure of is that IT is not my calling at all. Then why am I sticking to this rather dissatifying and misfitting job? I guess its the money which keeps me going, although what I get is just about enough to survive in the super expensive city of Mumbai. Also there is four years for graduation and two years of job experience which would go down the drain if I change my profile. Then again I can't deny that there is haunting fear of failure and struggle that would be vital to start from scratch. An MBA would be an natural extension of my years in engineering and the logical next step to a lucrative career oportunities that would succeed. But then I've realised that an MBA is not my calling. Its not that Im too lazy and reluctant to invest a few years studying, infact that's what I'd really love to do given a chance. I want to go back to books and knowledge cause there is no greater power than the power of education. For me right now I feel like an illiterate for education in the very sense of it, I haven't acquired. My years in engineering would have been converted to four whole years of technical enlightenment had I been inclined to study technology. Yet I managed to finish college. Sometimes I deeply regret my decision of taking up this course, what was I thinking?
Between all this confusion and disappointment, there is this deep sense of content. My job may not be rewarding and satisfying but it sure has resolved a lot of my family problems. There have been times when my mother had needed financial help and I have been in a place to offer it to her. My brother is still to finish his graduation in a professional course that compliments his personality and will take him places. Im glad I could do my bit to ensure that his stay in a city away from home is comfortable and rewarding. Im glad that I could buy an AC for my parents bedroom, for was very unsettling for me to see them tolerating the summers in Indore that refrains you from a peaceful sleep at night. I am happy that Im independent, somthing that I always wanted to be. But I wonder how long would this material hapiness last. When I weigh my fortunes against my longing for a better career, Im filled with immense sense of loss. My talent is going waste and all the years that can lead me to a more interesting, even if less rewarding carrer, if I choose to pursue my dream and answer my calling, are being spent in futile chores of the day at a misfitting career before a laptop that I use not to write something worth while, but to code. By the way, Im sure people in my league know that we are mere coders and not Programmers. We don't design and innovate, we just use and reuse, we are best at copy-paste! Having said that, I'd like to believe that Im not alone in this supreme dilemma of life. Infact most of us spent our days trying to figure out what is it that we'd really like to do and be good at it. There will be people in there 40s who'll tell you that their current job or any of their previous jobs did not match their calling and they still dream to one day do what they'd really like to do. But knowing what you don't want to do still puts you at a better place, is what I believe. So for me I know that IT is not the industry which can benifit from my talent and hardwork, that's for sure. I'll survive for a few years more, maybe I'll even land my self in a well paying job or like I said that ultimate dream of every software engineer, an ONSITE. But I know I'll always remain just a face in a sad crowd. I don't mind being a commoner, but I definately mind being unproductive. The guilt of drawing a salary that I do not rightfully deserve and managing to meet my deadlines, rather than pushing my limits to excel in the work that I do, would one day take its toll on me.
So Im giving it a serious thought now, I don't want to be too late in anwsering my call. I don't want to miss on the opportunities that I have as a single independent individual, to take risks in life and to do what I know I can be excellent at. I am still unsure of my plan of action, but Im going to work towards it. I know this will need a lot of courage and a hell lot of struggle but I promise myself to answer my calling. I want to study communications and media. I want to learn the art of writting. I want to learn event management and people management. I want to indulge in the nitty gritties of advertising and marketting a product. Only after I have enough knowledge of various opportunities in media will I truely understand where I want to head. Writting shall always be the background of anything that I would want to pursue, that is certain. So what remains to be done is to GO FOR IT !!! Having said that, Im going to evaluate, analyze and prepare to make a smoothe transit. I guess we all must let our mind speak and follow our heart. Think about your true calling.
Between all this confusion and disappointment, there is this deep sense of content. My job may not be rewarding and satisfying but it sure has resolved a lot of my family problems. There have been times when my mother had needed financial help and I have been in a place to offer it to her. My brother is still to finish his graduation in a professional course that compliments his personality and will take him places. Im glad I could do my bit to ensure that his stay in a city away from home is comfortable and rewarding. Im glad that I could buy an AC for my parents bedroom, for was very unsettling for me to see them tolerating the summers in Indore that refrains you from a peaceful sleep at night. I am happy that Im independent, somthing that I always wanted to be. But I wonder how long would this material hapiness last. When I weigh my fortunes against my longing for a better career, Im filled with immense sense of loss. My talent is going waste and all the years that can lead me to a more interesting, even if less rewarding carrer, if I choose to pursue my dream and answer my calling, are being spent in futile chores of the day at a misfitting career before a laptop that I use not to write something worth while, but to code. By the way, Im sure people in my league know that we are mere coders and not Programmers. We don't design and innovate, we just use and reuse, we are best at copy-paste! Having said that, I'd like to believe that Im not alone in this supreme dilemma of life. Infact most of us spent our days trying to figure out what is it that we'd really like to do and be good at it. There will be people in there 40s who'll tell you that their current job or any of their previous jobs did not match their calling and they still dream to one day do what they'd really like to do. But knowing what you don't want to do still puts you at a better place, is what I believe. So for me I know that IT is not the industry which can benifit from my talent and hardwork, that's for sure. I'll survive for a few years more, maybe I'll even land my self in a well paying job or like I said that ultimate dream of every software engineer, an ONSITE. But I know I'll always remain just a face in a sad crowd. I don't mind being a commoner, but I definately mind being unproductive. The guilt of drawing a salary that I do not rightfully deserve and managing to meet my deadlines, rather than pushing my limits to excel in the work that I do, would one day take its toll on me.
So Im giving it a serious thought now, I don't want to be too late in anwsering my call. I don't want to miss on the opportunities that I have as a single independent individual, to take risks in life and to do what I know I can be excellent at. I am still unsure of my plan of action, but Im going to work towards it. I know this will need a lot of courage and a hell lot of struggle but I promise myself to answer my calling. I want to study communications and media. I want to learn the art of writting. I want to learn event management and people management. I want to indulge in the nitty gritties of advertising and marketting a product. Only after I have enough knowledge of various opportunities in media will I truely understand where I want to head. Writting shall always be the background of anything that I would want to pursue, that is certain. So what remains to be done is to GO FOR IT !!! Having said that, Im going to evaluate, analyze and prepare to make a smoothe transit. I guess we all must let our mind speak and follow our heart. Think about your true calling.
That's me
to me i seem strange
just nother face in the crowd?
no no that's not me
im a lil more complex than that
a lil more unique....i'd like to think
to me i seem confused
wandering clueless
i try to untangle my messed up life
unaware i end up
more confused and messed up
to me i seem reclusive
living a life of my own
with my imaginary world more dear to me
i shun the real,
the ordinay....
to me i seem unkind
humane to the world
cruel to self
unforgiving and unresonable
i often punish me
to me i seem pretty
oh that's really wat i wanna see
coz i know i'll survive the effects of age
coz my beauty rests in my heart
oh but im still a lil ugly outside...
to me i seem in love
with everyone whose close
i find a reason to love
to celebrate life
and its kindness.........
to me i seem ordinary
im an angel an a devil too
i smile...n i cry too...
i love and i loose too...
im me and im you too......
just nother face in the crowd?
no no that's not me
im a lil more complex than that
a lil more unique....i'd like to think
to me i seem confused
wandering clueless
i try to untangle my messed up life
unaware i end up
more confused and messed up
to me i seem reclusive
living a life of my own
with my imaginary world more dear to me
i shun the real,
the ordinay....
to me i seem unkind
humane to the world
cruel to self
unforgiving and unresonable
i often punish me
to me i seem pretty
oh that's really wat i wanna see
coz i know i'll survive the effects of age
coz my beauty rests in my heart
oh but im still a lil ugly outside...
to me i seem in love
with everyone whose close
i find a reason to love
to celebrate life
and its kindness.........
to me i seem ordinary
im an angel an a devil too
i smile...n i cry too...
i love and i loose too...
im me and im you too......
My First Blog
As I sit in my office thinking about an interesting line to mark the beggining of my journey as a blogger, I am left clueless. Your mind goes blank when you try to think real hard and words flow easily when you are most relaxed. Here I know, my words would form opinions, they would attract criticism at times and hopefully appreciation at others. I've always been reluctant about sharing my writings. All these years the voice in me has been yearning to come out of the closet and be heard, loud and clear. Not always do I have a point to be made, sometimes I have random thoughts that capture my imagination and breathe inside of me like a child does in his mother's womb. Alas! I let this child suffocate and succumb to anonimity, for I steal its right to breathe free, have a life of its own, for my words have an identity independent of my own.
I now set my words free....I grant them to be heard and read. I am scared no more of sharing what I have to say about things that affect me and things that are absoluletly irrelevant in any context.
I will explore the depths of my thoughts through this blog and will soon share more about who I am and what I do for those who don't know me. For the people who know me...I welcome you all with open arms into my space where you will see me Writing My Way To Freedom.
I now set my words free....I grant them to be heard and read. I am scared no more of sharing what I have to say about things that affect me and things that are absoluletly irrelevant in any context.
I will explore the depths of my thoughts through this blog and will soon share more about who I am and what I do for those who don't know me. For the people who know me...I welcome you all with open arms into my space where you will see me Writing My Way To Freedom.
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