Waking up with the milkman ringing the doorbell, I manage to move my sleepy ass and start a bright new day. My first thought when I see a chubby face staring back at me from the bathroom mirror is.....have I put on more weight? After a bath I rush to get going else I'd miss the office bus again. I pack the leftover sabzi from last nite for lunch, and make my self some cold milk.....nother weighty thought...two spoons sugar is too much calories....I'm already not loosing any weight....don't want to put on atleast. With that I rush to the bus stop. If I'm lucky then the bus hasn't come. I chit chat with the slim women thinking what is it that they do to keep so fit. Fit? I don't think they gym the way I do...infact they might be endowed with a great metabolism which saves them from daily compulsory gym routine. I can't deny that I feel jeolous of all the good looking women who could wear whatever they like without looking down at their bulging tummy. In the one hour travel to office, my mind is blank, I just listen to some good music and take a break from the rather HEAVY thoughts.
The morning breakfast in the office cafeteria is usually a disappoiting . Being a Punjabi, I love my food. I expect my breakfast to be the most exciting meal of the day. Back home my Mom makes some really delicious parathas or great masala sandwitches. Here sadly,I need to keep my diet in order, hence my breakfast comprises of either boiled egg whites or something light like upma. I love idli, dosa and uttapa for breakfast. So when there's idli in the menu, I let myself loose and gorge on it. That's when my breakfast feels satisfying.
The day is spent working and having light lunch and snack wit tea in the evening. But there's something always at the back of my head...and that is my weight. The fact that I'm 16 kgs overweight makes me restless at all times. Unconciously, I compare myself with the slimmer lot...all in vain. I devise strategies to eat right. I try to avoid the high calorie food, I try to drink as much water as possible....I try to do everything right to help myself loose weigth.
I try to gym atleast 4 days a week. With 30 minutes of running, 10 mins of cycling, 10 mins on the eliptical and about 30 minutes of floor excersises and crunches on the cardio days and weight training for upper body with 15-20 minutes of cardio and strength training for lower body with 15-20mins of cardio, I remain my same cubby self. When my body fails to respond to all the workout and the diet control, there is a sense of disappointment and demotivation that seeps in.
What is it that I'm not doing rigth? What's the use of all the streneous excercises that I'm doing? Why can't I loose weight and look pretty? These thought often occupy my head. Infact, come to think of it, I'm so bloody fixated on my weigth that I sometimes overlook the fact that I'm blessed with good health. Apart from PCOD, which is primarily the cause of my obesity, and which can be treated, I do not suffer from any major ailements...touch wood!!!
I have great stamina and although I've put on weight, I'm the cute looker :) in words of my close pals. So I have few reasons to worry. I now realize the weight fixation of most women, which earlier used to look illogical to me in my ligther(weight) days. Gosh...looks like "weight" is a word that I think of and use most often.
Ladies.......I understand and relate with the obescity issues that most of you are facing and realize that we women need to relax a bit. We need to follow right diet and workout to stay healthy and fit rather than worry bout getting slim. I'm sure that if I stay motivated and stop worrying, and stick to my diet and good workout regime..then I'll get results. It'll take time......a lot of time,but it will happen....it has to happen....I'll make it happen!!!
So I'll try to shun the heavy thoughts...and enjoy my chub..errr...loose it!!!!
